By footman, carrier pigeon, or horsedrawn carriage, we can be reached at:

Dr. Schüler
45 Martense St., No. 2H
Brooklyn, NY 11226

Please send letters, but don't send flyers, menus, store circulars, or religious/political solicitations. We won't read them.

By telephone, ham radio, and microwave ray, we can be reached at:

646-220-9620

Please call us, but do not try to sell us credit cards, debt consolidation or lower mortage rates. We don't need them.

By computer, wireless PDA, and robot, we can be reached at:

Please email us, but do not try to sell us horny teenz, herbal Viagara or penis enlargements. We have plenty of success without them.